We Will Call You
Ep 1: Data Democratization
Fact-based job-seeking-opera for geeks
“… and this way, I was able to prove, using the data provided, that the project in question had no noticeable impact on sales.”
Domnall Coin watched the last slide of his presentation with a triumphant smile. This simple chart filled him with genuine pride. The clever normalization and calibration of data against the general market trend illustrated his conclusions so clearly that not only a mathematical illiterate but an illiterate in general would instantly get the message.
He had to admit that his respect for this company had significantly increased since he discovered that the task provided as a recruitment testing exercise was, in fact, a perfectly camouflaged stratagem. At first, he was repulsed by its triviality; some stores used the new fancy technical solution. The task was to demonstrate that it led to a sales increase. Such an approach suggested that it would rather not be his dream job. However, since over the past three months the recruitment agencies and their clients had been doing their best to starve him out, he had to put down his respect for the scientific method and his testing strategies and carried on with demonstrating.
There was, however, a pleasant surprise hidden in the data. With a little effort, he was able to derive from it a trend for the entire industry and, in turn, not only model sales growth over time (evident), but also to actually test whether the observed effect was not solely due to a general market change. All that was left was one division and a few lines of code. He saw in his imagination the person preparing the test, shaking with laughter writing “demonstrate-that” — an inconspicuous and straightforward thing, yet in catching idiots as effective as a Lotto jackpot. Everyone could demonstrate sales increase, but it had nothing to do with the installed doohickey, as sales in stores which did not implement it skyrocketed just as much. Domnall had no doubt that candidates falling into this trap were counted by a dozen.
He looked away from the slide and gazed at the group on the opposite side of the table, expecting at least one knowing smile. Instead, he saw a caricature of three wise monkeys from the Chinese proverb. On the left, the Lead Data Scientist covered his eyes with his hand, the CEO, sitting just opposite to Domnall, was holding her head with both hands, and on the right, the HR chick suppressed a yawn. He died a little on the inside.
“Our data scientists”, the CEO began slowly, “proved beyond a reasonable doubt, that this project increased sales by more than twenty-five percent.”
“Twenty-seven and a half, I suppose.” Domnall waited tensely for the woman to nod. “In that case, I even know what methods they used to demonstrate it. You need to understand that I’m not what today is understood as a data scientist, ma’am. Even machine learning algorithms are just one of my tools for modelling…”
“Our investors were delighted,” the Lead Data Scientist murmured grimly. “Their data scientists did not raise any objections at all, not to our methods nor the results of this project. And they received exactly the same data set I sent you.”
The interviewee looked questioningly at the CEO. There was a hint of doubt in the woman’s eyes. A fraction of a second later, she seemed to understand the implications; her face turning paperwhite. She threw a nervous glance at her subordinate, but underneath there was an accusation.
Domnall felt the hot flush. It seemed that the position of the Lead Data Scientist could soon be vacated. If he plays it right, instead of taking advantage of the “exciting opportunity to join a young and dynamic team”, he just may cover the vacancy. He pointed enthusiastically at the screen. The chart left no doubt.
“If they had someone at least a little competent, this… bluff” he gave the woman a worried look “would be detected”.
The CEO reached for a glass of water with a shaking hand. The Lead Data Scientist nervously shifted in his chair but managed a reassuring and slightly mocking smile.
“All applicants to date have demonstrated twenty-seven and a half, am I right?”
“Two of them even thirty-five,” nodded the HR chick.
The CEO’s face beamed with relief. Bliss! There was an explanation!
A Chinese proverb came to Domnall’s mind again. This time, however, he concluded that the only relationship that three primates in front of him had with wisdom, was that none of them could see or hear, let alone speak it. He mumbled:
“I have always thought that democratization of data embodies the freedom of access to it, not voting on the logical value of the discovered truth…”
“Yes, yes it’s fascinating.” The CEO smiled wryly, glancing at the Lead Data Scientist who was still shaking his head. “We will call you”.
We Will Call You Series:
Episode 1: Data Democratization (current)
Episode 2: Stimulating Work Environment
Domnall is a brilliant guy. However, job-seeking is long-term entertainment, and will probably take him a while. Especially that job interviews don’t happen every day. In the meantime, you may consider reading about other (equally brilliant) characters in our #Pharmacon sociological thriller.
