We Will Call You
Ep 5: Sunk Costs
Fact-based job-seeking-opera for geeks
“I think you will do great in our start-up.” Clearly content manager on the other side of the table was staring at Domnall. His triangular face with unblinking, wide-set eyes gave him an uncanny resemblance to a mantis. “I am pleasantly surprised that a man of your age has such a deep knowledge of analytical technologies.”
Domnall decided not to mention that he had just described the same technologies for the eighth time now, including two times to the recruiter and five times to the manager’s subordinates. The interlocutor’s surprise indicated poor communication in the company, but Domnall planned to improve that, too. His lips carved with a genuine smile.
“So when can I start implementing my knowledge here?”
“I’ll inform HR later today.” The man checked something in his papers, muttered a ridiculously low number under his breath, and added in a calming voice, “Such amount doesn’t require acceptance of my superiors, so it should be processed quickly…”
“It shall be twice that, I think…” Domnall corrected politely, not sure if his hearing faltered, or was it rather his memory weakened by the telenovelish pace of the ongoing recruitment process.
“Twice?” The manager was clearly surprised.
“The recruiter assured me it’s the wage for this position.”
“Impossible… He must have had something wrong.” The man shrugged off the inaccuracy and folded his hand as if to pray. “Listen. You can start here on Monday morning. From what I’ve heard, you’ve already sunk a lot of costs seeking employment. Even if you find a better-paid job within a few months, the difference won’t cover the losses you’ll generate until then. It just doesn’t pay off!” He leaned forward and tipped the wink to his future employee encouraging him to move closer. He whispered confidentially, “Besides, even if you don’t consider the base pay high, we offer a great stock option package. We plan an IPO in two-three years.” He straightened up and finished in a full voice, “After so many conversations with your future coworkers, you are surely aware that our cashflow is going to skyrocket soon!”
Domnall blinked in confusion. In his mind, he was frantically analyzing his private cashflow which has, since he substituted the new value for income, tipped to a stable downward trend.
“Stock options?” he asked. “It means I’ll be able to buy company shares for a set price, not at market value?” There was no way in hell for Domnall to recall the details of the pilot episode of this soap opera. “The problem is, that with this salary I won’t be able to save anything to invest.”
The manager let out a jolly laugh.
“You’ll pay for shares with your bonus! You’ll get up to ten percent extra each year!
Domnall refreshed in his head the cash flow chart, which shyly and slowly, nevertheless surely, started to grow. But the learned distrust prevailed over his optimism.
“What does the bonus depend on?”
“The usual stuff, the performance of the company, team, and yours, of course…” The man waved a hand dismissively, but seeing the applicant’s questioning gaze, he sighed impatiently and recited, “Seventy-five, twenty and five percent respectively.”
The graph arrow buried its head.
“Apart from that, we have a wide range of attractive perks for our employees…”
“Like a three percent price reduction on designer clothes and holidays in Dubai?”
“Not only on that! There are also discounts on victualling!”
Domnall looked at the manager with interest renewed. Collecting coupons for grocery stores strongly conflicted with his plan of reaping the benefits of his education. However, if it could help him balance the monthly calories intake, the proposed salary should cover his rent, student loan repayment and daily commute.
Mantis-man probably sensed his hesitation, because he greedily rubbed his hands and announced proudly, “Yes! Up to ten percent in some really fancy restaurants!”
When, despite this revelation, the applicant’s eyes dimmed, the manager said with a badly concealed irritation, “You know very well, how much effort we put in for this meeting to happen. Don’t you consider that work and money that we have invested to find and evaluate you, are also a part of your salary?!” A contemptuous grimace on the man’s face betrayed his disgust caused by Domnall’s sudden confusion, but he forced himself to throw the applicant another lifebuoy, “Besides, we also have Fresh Fruit Mondays!”
“With such a wage ladder, I would also consider offering Dough Tuesdays, Meat Wednesdays, Sweet Thursdays and Fish Fridays.”
The manager frowned, irked. He gathered the papers from the counter and pushed back his chair.
“I’ll think about it,” he growled clearly offended, “We will call you.”
We Will Call You Series:
Episode 1: Data Democratization
Episode 2: Stimulating Work Environment
Episode 5: Sunk Costs (current)
Domnall is a brilliant guy. However, job-seeking is long-term entertainment, and will probably take him a while. Especially that job interviews don’t happen every day. In the meantime, you may consider reading about other (equally brilliant) characters in our #Pharmacon sociological thriller.
