
I recently participated in a Women in Data Science hackathon. While talking about it with my colleagues, I got asked why we need women-specific events at all. Why can’t women just participate in events for everyone? This got me thinking. For me, it’s not that men make the environment hostile for women or that they don’t ‘allow’ women to succeed. In fact, I have been able to make friends with my male colleagues easily. They are supportive, and I don’t feel the way they treat me is different than any guy. These issues do exist for some women, but they never have for me.
So why do I participate in women in tech events? Why do most women? I have my reasons in the inherent systemic deficiencies that are stacked up against women. This list doesn’t hold just for women. It’s fairly generalizable to anyone who’s in the minority. Here goes:
The pressure of proving oneself
When you’re the only one or one of a minority, you have to prove that you belong. There is the constant pressure of shaking off any perception that you’re a ‘diversity hire.’ Again, this isn’t something I’m consciously made aware of. It’s just something that exists in my own mind.
The Tendency to underestimate one’s own capabilities
Sheryl Sandberg, in her book ‘Lean In,’ says that women tend to underestimate their own capabilities. Research has proved this many times as well. The outsider complex further fuels this underestimation and builds more pressure to perform.
The pressure of representing the gender
Minorities in any setting feel that they represent a wider idea, notion, or concept. Somehow, their actions speak of their entire community, not just of themselves. If you’re a majority, you represent just yourself. But if you’re the minority, you represent your kind.
If you’ve ever traveled internationally, I’m sure you were seen as a tourist. While no one may have treated you differently, didn’t you feel like you represented something larger than just yourself? That your actions somehow perpetuated or dissipated a stereotype?
This culminates in fear of being remembered for the wrong reasons. I don’t want to be remembered as ‘the lady who made a mistake.’ Would you? Since our actions have higher (perceived, in our own minds) consequences, we need to be extra careful.
The scarcity of role models
When in the majority, it’s easy to find people you relate to and can look up to. But women have far fewer role models to look up to. Before you ask why men can’t be role models for women, it’s because of the challenges above that are unique to women. I would love to talk to women who overcame these challenges and learn from them.
Moreover, women’s only events level this playing field. They take the burden of representation away, allowing women to be themselves, be wrong, and be challenged. These events help us find role models, and seeing so many other women doing what we do makes us feel like we belong.
At women-centric events, I have observed that women tend to talk freely about biases and issues, including those that exist only in their own minds. The first time I attended such an event, I found that most issues I faced being a woman in my field were universal. The issues, as well as the success stories that followed, spoke to me and inspired me.
Circling back to why I am always eager to take part in such a women-centric event now is because they allow me to find women in my field to talk to. I can always find stories that I could relate to. Every time I attend such events, I come out with whole new respect for women in technology, their struggles, and empowerment stories. They validate the path that I am following, strengthen my confidence, and make me feel I truly belong here, in the tech world.
Someone pointed out that as a guy, they won’t participate in women-focused events because they would feel like an outsider. On the contrary, I would urge them to participate. They would meet the nicest, most well-meaning people around them, always willing to help. I believe, when you hear our side of the story, you might be able to understand us better. You will understand why such events exist, and we women fervently want to have each other backs and support. If you are biased at all, I am sure after attending such events, you will not be ;). For many, I guarantee that you will hear stories that you can relate to despite being a man.
And for all these reasons and more, I strongly believe that we still need women-centric tech events, at least until the balance of gender is restored in the tech world – or until we, women, run out of such stories to tell.